jokes | A bit of this and a bit of that

Oil Change Instructions

Oil Change instructions for Women : Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 3000 miles since the last oil change. Drink a cup of coffee. 15 minutes later, write a check and leave with a properly maintained vehicle. Money Spent Oil Change: $20.00 Coffee: $1.00 Total: $21.00 ========== Oil Change instructions for Men…

The Ravaging Effects of Alcohol- JUST SAY NO

Effects of Alcohol After 6 beers After 2 glasses of wine After 2 bottles of wine ( Shared of course ) After too many margaritas After 3 Kamikazes After 7 rum & cokes After 1 large purple haze After 3 martinis After 1 bottle of tequila Tweet

Windows Error Messages

Someone sent me this list of Windows Error Messages. You may not have seen them before but who knows, you may see them in the future. Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue. Press any key to continue or any other key to quit. Press any key except… no, No, NO, NOT THAT ONE! Bad…

Got to get some boots

We haven’t had a joke here in ages, so I thought I’d dig on up. It’s about boots and crocodiles. Enjoy: One day a blonde woman wants to look for some boots. She first saw some thigh high boots she liked, but then settled on a pair of crocodile boots. She asked for help but…

Duck Fader

Following the previous post on lights, someone suggested I should decorate my house with these duck fader lights. While appealing, I don’t think they would be to everyone’s taste. Must ask The Joke Shop to start carrying these .. Tweet

Health and Fitness Joke

Thanks seem to have got a bit serious around here recently, so here’s a funny email someone sent me this week. Should put a smile on your face, especially if you’re dieting: Q: I’ve heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true? A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and…

What a shock!

*cackle* I have to get one of these shocking pens for the office. I keep finding myself lending pens to people and never getting them back. This way, I probably won’t be asked for a pen ever again .. at least not twice by the same person We used to play with these when we…

Letter from Tesco

Carl send me some proof of what can happen if a wife or girlfriend drags her husband or boyfriend along shopping. Some great ideas in there. This letter was recently sent by Tesco’s Head Office to a customer in Oxford : Dear Mrs. Murray, While we thank you for your valued custom and use of…

Monica’s Ex’s Wife for President

Came across this and had to post it to my blog: That certainly put a smile on my face. I wonder what Hilary would have to say about that … Tweet

Pensionbook

Do you Facebook? If so, you’ll appreciate this funny picture that my Manx friend, Peter Verstage has sent me. Shall we just say it’s a depiction of a what Facebook could look like when it gets older. What do you think? (click for a larger image) Tweet

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