A bit of this and a bit of that » hmmm…

Car insurance almost due

owen — Wed, 06 Oct 2010 20:58:38 +0000

Well, it’s almost that time of year again .. when the car insurance is due and we dig our hands deep in our pocket. I guess insurance is just one of those things, whether it’s car insurance, term life insurance or home insurance. The thing is, if you don’t have them, you’re bound to need them; but if you have them, then you never need them.

It’s almost like that expression about banks: they are institutions that are ready to lend you money when you don’t need it. I guess insurance falls into the same category.

How do smokers manage?

owen — Fri, 08 Jan 2010 23:36:31 +0000

We had some travel worries on our last trip to Malta and we ended up spending interminable hours stuck in airport terminals. We had two babies and a toddler but I think we managed OK overall. The babies were quite happy to sleep through anything and it was quite an adventure for Arthur. It did raise an interesting question though. If you’re a smoker and you’re stuck in a terminal, how do you handle the cravings and what do you do? Do you hide in a corner and light up one of your Avo cigars, or do you just pinch yourself until you’re let out of the terminal.

One thing’s for sure, it can’t be easy!

Every thought about insurance?

owen — Sat, 04 Jul 2009 22:47:35 +0000

Ever thought about how important insurance can be? Well, most of the time you pay into it and don’t need to claim, and it may feel like a waste of money. But recently, my wife bought a new phone, dropped it in the bathroom and that was the end of the phone. It was going to be an expensive affair, but someone told me to check if our household insurance covered us for that eventuality. Turned out it did! So we got the money back for the phone and are looking for a replacement. There are loads of different types of insurance policies around, from household and car insurance all the way to life and disability insurance. But one always needs to hope that they never need to claim for one of the latter!

Wierd spam

owen — Sat, 02 Aug 2008 13:30:08 +0000

I’ve been getting some really weird spam on this blog over the last few days. I’m used to all the spam about pharmaceuticals, acne treatments and even adult websites, but this spam had none of that. It just consists of chunks of text which seems to be taken out of a book somewhere, no links, no URLs, nothing. Some of them just seem to consist of random words. Here’s one for example:

extrapoint expreserve exotospore
explicable etc/showfh exchequers
fLhashstat fBftpusers esimilarly
estatesman escalating fastidious

How strange is that? Seen anything weird today?

Game Design

owen — Fri, 18 May 2007 16:07:26 +0000

Do you have a passion for computer games? If you, you could turn it into a career by doing a course in game design to get into that correct market. There’s a number to choose from at www.gamedesignprograms.com.

Courses include:

Game level editor
Modeler/texture artist
C++®/Java® programmer
Junior game designer
Prop artist
Production assistant

I did consider this once, when I thought I might do an M.Sc. in Game Design, but I ended up going down the MBA route instead. Maybe one day …

Words of advice – NOT

owen — Tue, 08 May 2007 15:48:10 +0000

I came across these while surfing the Net the other day. Hey might seem like tips, but read closer, they’ll have you in stitches !

Save a fortune on laundry bills. Give your dirty shirts to Oxfam. They will wash and iron them and you can buy them back for fifty pence.

Create instant designer stubble by sucking a magnet and dipping your chin into a bowl of iron filings.

Whilst in bed protect yourself from vampires and werewolves by hiding under the covers.

Confuse shopkeepers by buying a sheet of wrapping paper and asking them to wrap it.

Stop bread from drying out by keeping it in a bucket of water.

Save money on expensive personalised car number plates by simply changing your name to match your existing plate (from Mr KVL 74IY, Lincoln).

Smell gas? Locate the suspected leak by striking an ordinary match in every room in the house until a loud explosion reveals the source of the escaping gas.

Always keep a pound of lard in your pocket so that if you get your head stuck in railings you’ll be able to grease your ears and slide out.

Office workers. Avoid distractions from your important paperwork by making “blinkers” out of two Post-It note stickers, one stuck to each temple.

Record the sound of your washing machine onto a tape, then confuse neighbours by playing it back on a battery operated cassette player during a powercut.

An empty aluminium cigar tube filled with angry wasps makes an inexpensive vibrator.

Terrify ants into believing they have been invaded by “War Of The Worlds” style Martians by standing 3 pin plugs on end around their holes.

Avoid cutting yourself while clumsily slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.

Weight watchers. Avoid that devilish temptation to nibble at the chocolate bar in the cupboard or fridge by not buying the BLOODY thing in the first place, you fat bastards.

Don’t waste money buying expensive binoculars. Simply stand closer to the object you wish to view.

Housewives: When nipping out to the shops, remember to carry a stiff broom in the boot of your car. Use it to sweep the broken glass to the side of the road every time you have a minor accident.

Thicken up runny low-fat yoghurt by stirring in a spoonful of lard.

Love the Internet

owen — Thu, 03 May 2007 10:43:44 +0000

I must say that my life would be totally different without the Internet. The vast array of information at my fingertips has improved the quality of my life considerably. Whether it’s a matter of looking for TV listings, getting information about secured loans, buying a toy flying pig or keeping in touch with my friends, I can do it all online.

The downside of this is that I’m starting to get dependant on the range of information I have. While having a conversation with someone, if I get asked a question I don’t know the answer of, I can get quite frustrated at not being able to answer. Normally I would just fire up Google and look up the answer, but Internet access is still not so ubiquitous that I can have a connection anywhere. Who know though, in the future they may develop neural implants that allow you to download information straight to your brain.

Or maybe I’m just watching too much sci-fi …

Things to ponder …

owen — Wed, 18 Apr 2007 15:29:17 +0000

I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.

Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.

Life is sexually transmitted.

Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?

Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

In the 60′s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, “I think I’ll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?”

Who was the first person to say, “See that chicken there? I’m gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its butt.”

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

UPDATE: I never knew this sort of post would prove to be so popular. I’ll be keeping an eye out for these. So watch the blog, there may be more.

Oh .. and thanks for all the comments

Did you know …

owen — Fri, 23 Feb 2007 07:26:20 +0000

The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time television were Fred and Wilma Flintstone.

Coca-Cola was originally green.

Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the US Treasury.

Men can read smaller print than women; women can hear & smell better.

The state with the highest percentage of people who walk to work: Alaska

The percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28%

The percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38%

The cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of eleven: $6,400

The average number of people airborne over the US any given hour: 61,000.

Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.

That San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile National Monuments.

Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history: Spades – King David; Clubs – Alexander the Great; Hearts -Charlemagne; Diamonds – Julius Caesar

111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321

If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg in the air,the person died as a result of wounds received in battle. If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.

Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4th, John Hancock and Charles Thomson. Most of the rest signed on August 2nd, but the last signature wasn’t added until 5 years later.

‘I am.’ is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.

The term ‘the whole 9 yards’ came from WWII fighter pilots in the South Pacific. When arming their airplanes on the ground, the .50 caliber machine gun ammo belts measured exactly 27 feet, before being loaded into the fuselage. If the pilots fired all their ammo at a target, it got ‘The whole 9 yards.’

Hershey’s Kisses are called that because the machine that makes them looks like it’s kissing the conveyor belt.

The phrase ‘rule of thumb’ is derived from an old English law which stated that you couldn’t beat your wife with anything wider than your thumb.

The name Jeep came from the abbreviation used in the army for the ‘General Purpose’ vehicle, G.P.

The cruise liner, Queen Elizabeth II, moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns.

The only two days of the year in which there are no professional sports games (MLB, NBA, NHL, or NFL) are the day before and the day after the Major League all-stars Game.

The nursery rhyme ‘Ring Around the Rosey’ is a rhyme about the plague. Infected people with the plague would get red circular sores (‘Ring around the rosey’), these sores would smell very badly so common folks would put flowers on their bodies somewhere inconspicuously), so that it would cover the smell of the sores (‘a pocket full of posies’). Furthermore, people who died from the plague would be burned so as to reduce the possible spread of the disease (‘ashes, ashes, we all fall down’).

Some thoughts

owen — Thu, 15 Feb 2007 15:52:30 +0000

If you’re too open minded, your brains will fall out.

Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, if he gets angry, he’ll be a mile away – and barefoot.

Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a mechanic.

Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. A closed mouth gathers no feet.

If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you’ve never tried before.

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.

It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.

I have found at my age going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of my face

For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.

If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.

Always yield to temptation, because it may not pass your way again.

Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.

Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.

No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes.