Despite the bleeding I still felt pregnant. I needed to know that it is over. So I called Owen in the Isle of Mann and asked him if it was ok if I did a test. After all the heart ache we expected it to be a negative. After all I had menstrual cycle pains for a while, and I was bleeding. To top it off my OHSS signs had virtually disappeared. He agreed that I should / could do the test. In fact it was negative. It took all my composure to keep it together. It was cruelty feeling pregnant and getting a negative. But at least it was all over. But was it? My imagination started running wild with me. I kept seeing a line where there was none. Was I know losing my mind too? This was all too much. But I was so sure there was a feint line. Perhaps the remnants of the HCG injection or just my imagination. I looked at the packet, only to realize that it was an old test and now expired. Nothing else to do but try again. Right. Just to confirm it is negative (or in all honesty to try to cling on to some Faith and Hope). There was a problem with this test too. There were 2 lines. It could not be could it? Could I be pregnant! Yes I suppose… but I was bleeding.. so I was losing them anyway. What was the point? Besides it could be leftovers of the HCG injection.

Still there was a chance. Who cared about work… bed rest for me… perhaps we can save them still. There was only Faith & Hope! I needed to rule out that it was the HCG injection, so I called up Serono who make the injection. Guess what… the HCG should have been out of my system at the very latest 14 days after taking it. This was 16 days later.

Oh God… Dare I begin to imagine?